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As a sexpert, I  have to repeatedly remind my male clients of one thing all of the time: Men aren’t born slaying and slinging that thing, they have to put in the work to learn how to put it down in the bedroom.  Mastering good techniques takes time. You have to learn your body, and the general ways to excite your partners (every person’s body is different). The first step is getting a good grip on your member (and not like that). There are a few simple ways to treat even the most stubborn personal issues hindering your performance. Read on.

 

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1 Busting Too Soon

Ejaculating quickly is a common issue. In fact, an estimated one in three men are dealing with premature ejaculation (PE), yet only 5% of men seek treatment for the problem. PE may seem impossible to overcome, but the good news is there are remedies. A common solution is masturbating before sexual intercourse to reduce sensitivity to stimulation. For those who think their problem is more extreme, world-renowned sex therapist Dr. Zvi Zuckerman, M.D. created the “PE Program” at Between Us Clinic, a smart online system that utilizes the stop-start and squeeze technique to help men learn how to manage the sensation to cum. Guys go through a series of practice sessions and report back to the system after each one. There is an algorithm that adjusts based on feedback, and guides the user on how/when to change stimulation. This technique can then be applied when engaging with a sexual partner.

 

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2 Stroking Forever…

Some men just can’t seem to reach a climax. Anorgasmia (absence of an orgasm) affects about 8% of men and is experienced primarily when performance anxiety is high. Certain medications and medical traumas, like those involving the pelvis and spinal cord, can cause this condition as well. If anxiety is the cause of your dilemma,  education around sexual performance techniques and how to connect with partners is a great way to build sexual confidence and release unrealistic expectations. Practicing edging (a technique where partners get close to orgasm, stop stimulation to let sensations subside then resume play) along with positive sexual affirmations can assist in reducing performance anxiety. Another technique is to opt for oral or hand stimulation before intercourse to help connect with a partner and increase sensitivity. Consulting with a certified sex coach who specializes in orgasm, like Davia Frost, is also a great option.

 

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3 Can’t Hit it Right

A man’s stroke is the bread and butter of his sexual prowess.  Unfortunately, the ability to execute a good stroke isn’t innate for everyone, but it is a skill that can be learned. There is an online program that guides men into perfecting their strokes through understanding their bodies first. Zenity Fitness is an online community geared towards holistic male performance enhancement. Once a man knows his body type, Zenity provides exercises, via videos delivered by digital download, that help with hip rotation, core strength, flexibility and stamina. The program is inexpensive and effective—check out the testimonials on the site.

 

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4 O’ding on Porn

Watching pornography can quickly morph from escapism to addiction. For the men who want to break an insatiable cycle of self-stimulation because it is impeding their ability to connect with real-life partners,  pulling away from porn can seem difficult when trying to heal alone. But guys who want to reshape their sex lives don’t have to go on the journey to reboot alone. The online community Nofap.com is a porn recovery website for men looking for support in creating change. The website isn’t a religious organization. It’s a forum to reshape your relationship/expectations around sex and sexual interaction. The program also provides a dedicated team who is there to help along the journey.

Glamazon Tyomi is CASSIUS’ resident sexpert. Follow her at @GlamazonTyomi.

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