Natural leaders have a presence that almost can’t be defined. It’s a natural charisma that comes across whether you’re engaging them in conversation or watching them work a room. Their goal isn’t to be the life of the party, but they end up leaving any occasion with others wishing that they could have talked with them more. There are some universal traits and behaviors that many of the world’s most charismatic people share. Here are a few:
CONNECT BEYOND EYE CONTACT
Charismatic people react to conversations with expression. While eye contact will let people know that you’re listening to what’s being said, it’s often other non-verbal ways of communicating – like nodding, smiling, and brief phrases – that let the person you’re talking to know that you’re actually interested in what they’re saying.
BE AWARE OF YOUR BODY
An AskMen article on charisma brings up some good body language examples from charismatic men; two of the best takeaways from the article are to maintain a good posture and keep your body open. You’ll come across as both welcoming and confident.
BE CONFIDENT, EVEN IN IGNORANCE
Many men are too proud to ask probing questions when ignorant about a subject or topic. Accept the fact that you don’t know much about, say, French films from the ’50s — that gives the person you’re talking to a chance to feel valuable by sharing knowledge about something that they really enjoy. On the same note, don’t show any shame for not knowing everything, or you’ll look unsure and be difficult to talk with.
In Nicholas Boothman’s How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less, he places emphasis on building rapport with whomever you’re talking to. Similar upbringings, interests, lifestyles, and opinions build an instant connection with other people, and highlighting those parallels early on in a conversation will make you instantly trustworthy. This also plays quite well into the next tip…
DON’T FOCUS ON YOU
The most important thing you should remember is that people are more interested in themselves than anyone else, but those who actually act like that often don’t leave the best impression. To be the most sought after person in the room, act like everyone else’s story is fascinating. You don’t have to avoid talking about yourself completely, but make sure you’re not the one to keep bringing the conversation back to you.